(PATRICK WOOD) There will come a time when your bank will discriminate against you for exceeding your allotted carbon footprint. Mastercard’s new footprint calculator app states,
“A carbon footprint is the total amount of greenhouse gases generated by our actions. Greenhouse gasses, like carbon dioxide, are harmful to the planet. “
Mastercard doesn’t bother to mention that if there was no CO2 in the atmosphere that all living plants on the earth would die. Given that you exhale CO2 some 20,000 times per day, Mastercard is suggesting that you are the biggest threat to the future of humanity.
They can help you with that. The app explains,
Many things go into your carbon footprint, including where you live, your daily habits and your purchases.
Just put all those things into the app and you can find out just how bad you are. The Mastercard website states,
Learn how your carbon footprint is calculated and get tips on how to reduce your footprint when you spend. Designed in collaboration with industry leaders, these insights can help you make practical and simple modifications leading to more mindful spending.
Mindful spending? This means buying the things they want you to buy and giving up your old habits. Consider it a redistribution of purchasing habits.
But, what if you still fail to measure up? What if your carbon footprint is still over-quota? Well, you can do penitence by donating to the Priceless Planet Coalition to help restore forests around the world.
Praise the Card! We have all been delivered.